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Top 5 Free PC Utilities for FREELOADERS

published on 23.06.2010 in web

***Warning: this post may be a bit habit forming as well as hilarious and retarded, please do not take any of the things I talk about offensive, but if you do, then your probably a wuss and I apologize.

Alright, lets get right to the point and keep all the fluff at bay.

The number #1 reason why I created this Top 5 List, is to point all those cheap, poor freeloading dooshe’s out there in the right direction, so they don’t have to pay like everyone else does for high quality PC optimization, antivirus protection and the tons of other reason’s why having good utilities on your PC is just plain smart! That way you “they I mean” can stop getting shammed by the garbage tools that only exist because you dumb a**’s keep looking for them.

Tootaloo pookey poo! lol :-)

Note: This list is what I believe to the best resources available online to protect your PC from dangerous dooshbag viruses & spyware variants as well as keep your computer operating at a normal speed without dumping a few hundred bucks on junk tools you could of otherwise found for free else where, more specifiably here.


PC OptimizationFree
1. CCleaner (piriform.com/ccleaner) Offers a kick a** collection of tools to wipe clean, optimize your PC absolutely FREE!

2. Malwarebytes (malwarebytes.org) (Alert) most free versions of any kind of software sucks, but the rule doesn’t apply to the malwarebytes free edition, (may rating is bad a** 150 stars beaaaaatch!!)

Driver UpdatesFree
3. DriverScanner 2010 (uniblue.com) You can find the free version “freeware” at majorgeeks.com, this kick but utility is for all you lazy folks out there that can’t seem to manage to download all your driver updates on time and wonder why your PC runs like a shiny turd as well as the other lazy folks that buy printers, cameras, old cellphones and useless electronic junk at yard-sales and can’t find the drivers needed to use them. My rating (NICE!!!***)

4. Avg Antivirus (free.avg.com) Once again, I don’t normally condone downloading the free version of any product because 9/10 it sucks, however Avg is a different package deal when it comes to that online sham. So, if your poor, cheap, or just a freeloading dooshbag and you want all the protection you can get that would normally come with a “Paid” version of Mcafee or Stopzilla, then this download is for you.

Data RecoveryFree
5. Recuva (piriform.com/recuva) another great utility offered by “Piriform”. I couldn’t possibly complete the list without adding a reliable “that actually works” data recovery utility. If you’ve lost an email, notepad file, just about any kind of .doc, this tools will find it and the best thing about it is it will do it all FREE, so I bet that sounds good to all you freeloading dooshes out there. doesn’t it?

Tags: free antispyware, free antivirus, free data recovery, free driver updates, free pc tools, free spyware

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